A topic i have been chatting about for a while on my social media handles. Why is this so important to me? Well read more below and you might just understand.
If you are a mother, you know very well that you get highs and lows. There’s days where you just want to roll into a ball and cry, and there are days where you are a total BOSS and ace every task motherhood demands of you. We all get tired, we all have our struggles and we all feel overwhelmed some days – but motherhood will never ever have a negative connotation in my eyes. I guess I’m a glass half full kinda woman.
But lately, i have been seeing so much negativity regarding motherhood. How their kids get in the way of their life, how horrible their kids are acting and moms even resorting to calling their own kids some terrible names and cursing about them. This might not seem like a big deal, but it sickens me to the core that it has become a trend to talk about what a brat your kid is. You know, you can talk badly about motherhood all you want, end of the day, YOU are raising a little human. Have you realized that? A little human that depends on you, that has needs that they cannot see to on their own. They need help growing up to be the best they can be. You chose to be a mother, so be the best damn one you can be. Why aren’t you enjoying being a mother? Isn’t that something you need to ask yourself? Every kid was put on this earth by our God so we can nourish and teach them, inspire and uplift them and truly show them what great potential they have.
Look at your kids, really look at them and see their potential and purpose in life. Our children are perfect little pure souls and they entrust us with their lives. If they throw a fit in a mall, it’s probably because you made them go with you and Heaven knows that kids at certain ages aren’t really keen to go to malls or restaurants. They want to play, they want to explore, they want to read and they want to excite their minds, not sit around and wait for you to finish that coffee. Do not get upset and angry at them over a choice you made (that you probably knew would not end up well). I have made that mistake some days, begging James just to sit still when we are somewhere he clearly does not want to be. He is not programmed to sit still, his brain is growing and developing at a crazy speed! #momfail
Changing vomited sheets for the third time at 3 am, or giving a patient hug in response to a screaming fit at the end of a long day, are tiring things to do, but they make me happy because I know in doing them I giving my child what he needs, and I am glad that I get to be the one to do it. What a honor it is – such a beautiful little soul depending on you to help them. And they only want YOU! No one else.
Did you not know that babies cry? That toddlers throw tantrums? That kids refuse to eat their damn broccoli? The difficulties of parenting aren’t hidden from you, it’s everywhere! Television, in the street, in the mall – you cannot hide from it. So why act so oblivious to it? Like you didn’t know it was going to be so hard? I find it hard to believe that all of this came as a total surprise to you. I find it troubling that moaning about children and parenting seems to have become not just fashionable, but par for the course. It seems almost comical that the common complaint of working parents is that they don’t see enough of their children, only for them to kick up an almighty fuss when they do. The things you say and portray might just lead others to believe that you do not even love that precious child of yours and that your child has just gotten in the way of your perfect life.
For me, the positive side of motherhood definitely outweighs the negative. The warm hugs, the arms around your neck and sweet smiles you receive and let’s not forget the “Momma i love you” at random times that make your heart skip a beat. Maybe that’s just me – i don’t know. Is it?
Complain if you must. Vent if you need to, but remember that every choice has a consequence, and if you continue to make the choice to constantly complain about your kids, People might make the choice to turn around and walk away from you, may it be your friends or even your family.
Kids don’t owe you ANYTHING because you changed their diapers for 3 years, or because you made them organic food when they started eating or because you cleaned up their toys for them until they were able to. The mentality behind this is mind boggling – why do women feel entitled for giving their child their basic needs?
I read the following in an article and it made me really think :
“I have a theory that parental whingeing is mostly front, a way of trying to prove that, despite having children, you haven’t been entirely consumed by them. It’s a pre-emptive strike against your cool friends not yet burdened with kids, who think that your life is desperately dull and tedious. Say something adoring about your children, and you run the risk of looking smug and self-satisfied.
Those who have buried their children find your bitterness toward motherhood like acid to their spirit. Those who have longed to carry a child full term would love to have your stretch marks. Those who have buried an infant ache for sleepless nights with a baby that cries no more. Those moms who said good-bye to playful children yearn to clean up their cereal spills and wipe their noses. Those who have watched their teenager die would take every inconvenience they afford just for one more day with their precious child. Makes you think doesn’t it?”
Leave the moaning to the kids moms, they seem far better at it than we do 😉
“I felt you. You were a pea, then a lemon, then an eggplant. I followed advice, i read 12 books, i quit caffeine.
I talked to you. I sang to you. Could you tell i was nervous?
But then you were here. 10 toes, 3.3kg, love. Big fat love.
I held you, i fed you. I realized i would spend my life doing things to make you happy. And that that would make me happy.
And there were times i felt i failed. You made me rethink my sanity. You have made me want to fall at my mothers feet and say “I get it”. But then you smile, and call me mom – and you grab my hands with those little fingers and throw your arms around my neck.
We are growing together, we are seeing the world like it’s new. I will open my heart and love will rain down all over you. You will giggle and i will do it all over again – we will walk hand in hand for as long as you need. I made you, but you made me a mother.”