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I have my boobs back

Yeah, I have my boobs back. Jaxson Reid Kruger is officially weaned at 11 months. I always wanted to wean him at a year, but life decided it needed to happen sooner – and I am okay with that. 11 months is still much longer than most can hold out, so I can be proud of that.

DISCLAIMER: I do not want to breast is best talk (I breastfed James for 2 years so I’m not uninformed about extended breastfeeding and the WHO), I do not want to go into a discussion about rather taking safer meds or “you can still re-latch!”. I went through hell the last two weeks to better my health and I am not turning around.

SO THE BIG QUESTION: WHY?

I will still write an in-depth post once I get my head clear but basically, I got diagnosed with Post Natal Depression. It was hard and I did not want to believe it at first but after speaking to my doctor and a psychiatrist, we decided the best option for me was to wean Jaxson and get my hormone imbalance right. I am on medication unsafe for breastfeeding and I wanted to wean him when he turns 1 anyway.

And something happened that never happened in the two years breastfeeding James: I got angry. I got angry while feeding Jaxson and hated it when he moaned to breastfeed (this was the depression taking over, I’m not that bad of a human). Anyway, I knew for my sanity I needed to stop and I felt relief when the doctor asked if I can wean Jaxson. So, I got tablets to “dry” up my milk and went home.

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NEXT BIG QUESTION: HOW ON EARTH DID I WEAN HIM?

I went to Pick and Pay and bought Growth Milk and Infacare – it’s probably the only two brands I haven’t tried giving him. I put growth milk in a bottle and just like that, he finished 100ml. I could not believe it. This boob-milk loving baby just gobbled up milk not made by me – I guess I was quite lucky. I used a bottle called the Munchkin Latch – I found it on Takealot and it looked pretty interesting.

After that, he took to any bottle. We don’t use the Munchkin latch anymore and started using the Tommee Tippee Ultra bottle and then the NUK nature sense. We alternate between the two.

HOW DID THE WEANING GO FOR ME?

Emotionally – okay. Maybe it’s because I am on anti-depressants, I don’t know. But I am okay with it. To be honest, I am actually relieved. Physically? It wasn’t going so great. My boobs exploded (not literally) and the got rock hard. No amount of cabbage leaves, massaging and praying helped so I went to a physiotherapist. Did you know you can go to a physio to help with engorged breasts?

She used ultrasound to make the lumps smaller and massaged it to lessen the tension. It helped SO much. I went for three sessions and finally after two weeks, I have normal boobs again (well as normal as they can be…) I am still producing a little bit of milk but it just looks like water and should dry up soon. Unfortunately, my boobs probably won’t ever go back to the way they were before but that’s okay, I am not 18 anymore and I am a mom now. Like some wearing their tiger stripes proudly, I am wearing my funny looking boobs proudly. #NoShameInMyBreastfeedingGame

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