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Motherhood isn’t easy. AT ALL. Whoever says it is, is probably lying or is a freakin’ superhuman because i haven’t met one mom that says it’s all beautiful butterflies and roses. Mom-ing is damn hard. But with being a mom, comes a whole load of guilt. I have never had such a rush of guilty feelings that come over me until i became a mom. Even worse now that I am a mom of two!

I’m pretty sick of this pretentious “Being a mom is so easy, my kids are so easy, i just want to have lots of babies because i have the best life with all my easy kids”. No. Shut it. You lying. We all know you are. I think i will appreciate (and even like) you more if you talk about what a shit day you had because honestly, i know you must have had one shit day this week. So, let’s all be honest about it together! I am not saying our kids are shit, I’m saying we get hard days and those are pretty shit – admit it. But the good days make up for those by far! The “I love you’s”, the cuddles, the hugs and let’s not forget those first smiles and belly laughs. Getting carried away now so let’s get to my point… the guilt.

I have been stretching myself very thin lately (not in size, i wish i could though.) I have been juggling our blog, my photography career, my husband, my marraige, my household, my toddler and let’s not forget – little 8 week old Jaxson. When you put it in writing it seems insane. How does one person juggle all of this? To be honest guys – i don’t. Every day i fail at something. Fail to keep the companies we work for in our blog happy, fail to keep my clients in my business happy, fail to keep my husband happy, fail to be a calm and good mom to the kids or fail to be the housewife that cooks dinner each evening – somewhere, somehow, most days, i fail at one of these things. I still have no clue how to manage it all together, but every day i am learning. Fail is a harsh word, i know. Let’s put it this way, i don’t “fail”, i just learn another lesson at life.

So with all this failing (or lesson learning) comes the guilt. Guilty because i screamed at James for jumping on his brother and waking him, guilty because i hardly listened when my husband was talking to me about his day, guilty because i let Jaxson cry while i just take a shower for the first time in three days. Guilty because i see unhappiness and i know i could have prevented that. So no, i cannot juggle all these things without neglecting one thing or another and it breaks my heart in pieces. The faster i accept that I cannot be this perfect TV wife/mother, the calmer my state of mind will become.

Photo 2017-10-16, 1 07 38 PM

But on a positive note, i am adapting and learning each day. I learn from my mistakes and i learn from those guilty feelings. I learn to better myself even though it’s only baby steps. Each day i face new challenges and i get through them, some days are a blur and I’m not even exactly sure how the hell i did it but the important part is, that i conquered. I did! And i salute myself for that. Give yourself some credit, you deserve more than you think.

We are under constant pressure to be the perfect mother, wife, friend. Pressure to be successful in our work, in our life! We tend to forget the smaller things and we rather focus on the big picture and by that, we are burning ourselves out. We need to realize we are human. ONLY human! There is only so much we can take, only so much we can feel and only so much we can do. LIVE each day. I cannot stress that enough. LIVE it. Don’t just get by. Be in the moment. Kiss your husband for 20 seconds instead of 10. Don’t rush your evenings just to get the kids in bed. Don’t try cook the perfect meal each night. Don’t fall in this disastrous routine to just get stuff done on your mental check list. Don’t get to the age of 70 and say, “There just wasn’t time to live.”

Be kinder to yourself because NO woman can pour from an empty cup. You have to take care of yourself first to be the best mommy to your kids and the best wife to your husband. YOU are the glue that holds your family together. #UsMomsRock

8 thoughts on “It’s never easy – especially the guilt.”

  1. Oh I so get this… and yes we all have had a bad day this week me especially and it only Tuesday lmao.

    All we have to remember is we doing our best and that’s all that matters.

    Xoxo

  2. The guilt its soooo real, I feel guilt because I am at work and not with Skylar, and when I am with Skylar I feel guilty for the work I have neglected.
    You forgot to throw in there… that you also make time to be a super friend and that you are a younging… so lots to learn still 🙂
    You are awesome #UsMomsRock

  3. Yes know these days very well, Iam a mommy to a 4 year old little boy Caleb and a 3month old baby boy Levi… I run my own business ; I’m a home keeper, a wife, a sister, a friend and and and.. it doesn’t stop. But I try not let time run away with me. I try complimen myself on a ‘job well done’ at least ones a day. Being a mom to two little beings is hard … being a mom Is hard. We need to not be so hard on ourselves..

  4. wow Chernel.. i can relate in every single thing that you wrote, i am experiencing all of this, i have a 6 year old and a 6 month old and i am battling with the “guilt” as well. i feel so much better now thank you so so so much for sharing this.. i religiously follow your blog, instagram etc and you are doing a fabulous job with your boys i cant help but admire your photos and status etc.. love love love… so hats off to you girl! you are a phenomenal mum

  5. I am so with you on this, I think our kids are the same ages, Georges 2 years and Luca 8 weeks. They say boys are easier, but I feel so guilty not wanting to play outside THE WHOLE TIME. But I guess it will get easier and the guilt will get less the better we adapt to the situation. Right now I was feeling guilty for putting newborn in bed just so I can get toddler to sleep so that I can pay attention to newborn. #usmomsrocks #goodluck #boyswillbeboys

  6. I totally love this blog it is the truth and I appreciate it, I feel guilty that I can be selfish and want my life to be perfect so I insist on my baby sleeping despite the crying, then I realize I need to be more sensitive to his needs and care for him and myself to, thank you for posting this

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