fbpx

The Importance of Self Care

I haven’t been taking care of myself. Not physically, mentally. I am sitting here after bedtime chaos and I don’t know where my head is. So I am writing, because writing makes me feel better. I am so disappointed in myself and that I forgot about the importance of self-care, look where we are now – one big mess.

IMG_2031.jpg

Have you noticed that the entire household suffers when you aren’t at your best? It’s no coincidence. Think about it for a second – The kids are miserable, the to-do list is 100 pages long, you fight with your spouse and you look like a bus ran over you. Your headaches become a daily occurrence and you gain weight/lose weight like crazy. Where do we find the time to even recharge when we trying to keep everyone else happy? Where is the line? When do we stop and remember that we are just as human as they are and not some man-made robot?

IMG_1848.jpg

Please don’t understand me wrong, I know I have a blessed life. I know my life is better than most but that does not make me immune to feeling the way I feel. Don’t tell me I can’t feel depressed, empty and angry because I have everything I could possibly want or need. I’m sleep deprived, I’m stressed out, I’m frustrated but most of all, I fell empty to the point where I almost don’t feel nothing at all.

I knew I needed to get help when I was looking at Jaxson screaming because I’m not picking him up, and I felt nothing. Nothing. At the same time, I felt guilty for feeling nothing. Where is my natural-mama-response? Where are my loving open arms? Where is my mind? Where am I? Who am I? And how the hell did I get so messed up so quickly?

IMG_3025.jpg

Life is a rat race with an endless list of to-dos. A million things to do, no time to do it. We try to get to it all and when we don’t, we tense up and become mom-sters. Will we relax when we reach the end of that list? Probably not. When you get a hour free, don’t try to fill it with your to-do list, let’s rather take care of ourselves. Even if it means just hearing yourself breath, feeling your heart beat in your chest, listening to the sound of nothing and just taking it all in.

I’m not afraid to admit I need help. I’m not afraid to admit that I need to focus more on myself. The only way I can be a good mom to those beautiful boys is by fixing myself first. We need to realize that this term Supermom is absolute bullshit because we cannot do it all – we cannot be everything because at the end of the day, what is left of us? #Supermoms must fall because I will be fine with just being an “Okay” mom. Not a super mom, not a good mom, not the best mom – Just an okay mom. An okay mom to James and Jaxson.

I’ll be updating you all on my self-care journey as I am sure there are many of you out there feeling this way. Keep an eye out for part 2.

IMG_8135.jpg

10 thoughts on “The Importance of Self Care”

  1. Dit neem juis n supermom om te admit dinge is te veel. Dis baie makliker om n brave face op te sit as te erken dinge raak te veel. Dis die eerste dinge wat ek moes erken destyds toe ek my journey begin het:dat al is EK STERK en kan enige iets handle..dat ek nie cope met n gejaagdheid om als vir almal te doen. Ek moes admit quiet me time was n noodsaaklimheid. Dis nooit maklik nie maar met boudaries,selfcare en geduld vir JOuSELF is die doenbaar. Sterkte poppie

  2. Thank you for this piece. I read the caption and thought I would just read what you are going through after reading the piece I feel like I can relate to what you are saying and never realised I’m going through the same thing.

  3. Funny you talk about self care, I said that to you on your instagram story. Being a mom is hard, it is overwhelming at times and we give give give all the time, it is a lot to juggle keeping everything going and everyone happy and often we neglect ourselves. I hope you find someone who can guide you to what treatment works best for you. We try do everything perfectly, like we used to, but kids are demanding. You will get your mojo back. I think almost all moms can relate to feeling like this. Don’t be too hard on yourself xx

  4. Hi there. Thank you SO much for writing this piece. Somehow it just made me feel so much better about myself as it once again made me realise ghat its ok not to be ok (if you get what I am trying to say). I’ve recently (last Wed to be exact) became divorced and it litterally broke me to the point that I HAD to get help as I just wasn’t coping. I have two gorgeous boys… Michael (10) and Malan (3).

    I always felt it to be a disgrace to be dependant on meds to help you cope till my doctor said that’s not true and how many people in fact are on anti-epressants etc. Life in todays times has just become too hectic…

    So all I wanted to say was thank you and that to me you are SUPER WOMAN. I’ve been following you for quite some time.. loving your posts and just general insight into your life. Please never stop posting and all the best. You truly are an inspiring woman znd a wonderful mommy to James & Jaxson. All the best, Samantha (@watsonsamantha81)

  5. Hi Chenel, I’ve felt this way many times, you are not alone. Ive enjoyed reading your blog post and also find I’m fine with being an okay mom this whole super mom thing is impossible, I’ve tried and failed I’ve felt empty and I’ve burnt myself out. Take care you are doing an awesome job! I wish more people were like you. As I sit and type this I’ve got Keston on my lap refusing to sleep in his cot I’m exhausted, it’s work in a few and gosh it’s hectic, so grateful to you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. It helps! Take care

  6. Omg… tears and tears… gosh I don’t even know where to start. I hate this feeling of being the worst mother in the world and I’m not made to do this anymore because I cannot cope. To feeling so guilty for having my boys and now I want to throw in the towel. It’s so hard when things have gotten to much and Kaiden is getting to much and his doing all the wrong things and I’m screaming and swearing at the top of my lungs then it’s the baby that needs my attention. I just switch off.. me their mother the person that is suppose to love them and protect them and always be there no matter what… I switch off. I can’t cope I feel like I’m drowning most days and just trying to stay afloat when I’m not losing my shit. Just wish someone will tell me I will survive without me putting myself down or actually believing in myself that I’m going to be ok.. or actually speaking about how I feel and not keeping all this emotions inside and hurting myself even further. So I’m following these blogs to come, my little life line of knowing I’m not alone in this world of feeling so depressed.

  7. Feeling the nothingness…and the guilt of the nothingness…wow that hit home. 18months of no -little sleep, moving house soon and not much alone time with hubby & another bub on the way has me TOTALLY understanding this post. Thank you for making me me FEEL not alone!

  8. Dearest momma

    I am crying! Who is the fool who decided that it is my job to do it all? Oh yes, that was me. Thank you for sharing and reminding me that I am a person too, a human who needs looking after and that it’s ok to not be fabulous all the time. I have stopped breastfeeding my 18 month old and I lie awake feeling guilty, trying to convince myself that she is ok. I’ve come to realise that I need my body back, to take care of it and to try and fix what I’ve neglected.

    THANK YOU for making realise that it is ok.
    Love x

  9. I needed to hear this right now!!!This entire post gave me goosebumps to often we forget our needs because we to busy checking on the kids and our spouses. SELFLOVE so much more easier said than done i even feel guilty by typing those words.I have these moments in the day when i feel my heart is jumping throughout my chest and i cannot contain my breathing and i have this constant fear that bad things will happen but then i remind myself that God is in control of all things in this world ♥️Take a deep breath and say a little pray mom You not alone And by admitting what you just did shows that you a Amazing Mother. P. S WAITING PATIENTLY FOR PART 2 in your time mom take it easy

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *