The Importance of Self Care
I haven’t been taking care of myself. Not physically, mentally. I am sitting here after bedtime chaos and I don’t know where my head is. So I am writing, because writing makes me feel better. I am so disappointed in myself and that I forgot about the importance of self-care, look where we are now – one big mess.
Have you noticed that the entire household suffers when you aren’t at your best? It’s no coincidence. Think about it for a second – The kids are miserable, the to-do list is 100 pages long, you fight with your spouse and you look like a bus ran over you. Your headaches become a daily occurrence and you gain weight/lose weight like crazy. Where do we find the time to even recharge when we trying to keep everyone else happy? Where is the line? When do we stop and remember that we are just as human as they are and not some man-made robot?
Please don’t understand me wrong, I know I have a blessed life. I know my life is better than most but that does not make me immune to feeling the way I feel. Don’t tell me I can’t feel depressed, empty and angry because I have everything I could possibly want or need. I’m sleep deprived, I’m stressed out, I’m frustrated but most of all, I fell empty to the point where I almost don’t feel nothing at all.
I knew I needed to get help when I was looking at Jaxson screaming because I’m not picking him up, and I felt nothing. Nothing. At the same time, I felt guilty for feeling nothing. Where is my natural-mama-response? Where are my loving open arms? Where is my mind? Where am I? Who am I? And how the hell did I get so messed up so quickly?
Life is a rat race with an endless list of to-dos. A million things to do, no time to do it. We try to get to it all and when we don’t, we tense up and become mom-sters. Will we relax when we reach the end of that list? Probably not. When you get a hour free, don’t try to fill it with your to-do list, let’s rather take care of ourselves. Even if it means just hearing yourself breath, feeling your heart beat in your chest, listening to the sound of nothing and just taking it all in.
I’m not afraid to admit I need help. I’m not afraid to admit that I need to focus more on myself. The only way I can be a good mom to those beautiful boys is by fixing myself first. We need to realize that this term Supermom is absolute bullshit because we cannot do it all – we cannot be everything because at the end of the day, what is left of us? #Supermoms must fall because I will be fine with just being an “Okay” mom. Not a super mom, not a good mom, not the best mom – Just an okay mom. An okay mom to James and Jaxson.
I’ll be updating you all on my self-care journey as I am sure there are many of you out there feeling this way. Keep an eye out for part 2.